When you lose yourself, who have you got?
by SouthParkism
Summary: COMPLETE Heidi was just another girl at school. It was alwys her dream to be more than that though. She never would have guessed that the paper fortune teller would be right when it said her life would change for the better... and the worse. [Daniella]
1. Why can't I stand out?

**Hope you enjoy! **

* * *

"Okay, I have the spelling tests back class," Mrs. Garrison said holding a stack of papers. "Let's take a guess who got the highest score," she said holding up a paper.

_Please say Heidi! Please say Heidi!_

"Wendy Testaburger!" She said placing the A+ paper on her desk. I slumped in my seat. Why wasn't it ever me? I always studied just as hard as Wendy but I could never beat her! Mrs. Garrison felt it unnecessary to congratulate any other students. She just walked around handing out papers. One landed on my desk as I picked it up. I sighed angrily as I read a 99. ARGH! I was one point away! My body jumped as I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry Heidi, you'll get a 100 next time!" came a cheery voice. I turned to see Wendy smiling at me. I smiled back politely.

Stupid bitch.

Yeah, I know that was harsh but sometimes I get frustrated with my friends. The thing is, I just wish I could be as known as the rest of them. I've always felt like I'm just Heidi, the girl who blends into a crowd. I was never like Wendy who was really smart or Bebe who was the first to develop. I was just... Heidi.

The bell rang as we all filed out of the class room. We all stayed in a little group.

"Oh my god girls! I'm totally having a sleepover this Saturday!" Powder announced on the way to lunch. "It's going to be a lot of fun; we can play truth or dare, light as a feather, and predict our futures!" She squealed.

We pulled up a table in the cafeteria. I heard a cough.

"Excuse me but you seem to be at my table," Cartman said, trying to look threatening.

"Fuck off!" Bebe said angrily.

"Even if we did give you this table you'd need another just for your ass!" Millie added in as we started laughing.

"Goddamn it get out of my table! You will respect my authoritah!" I rolled my eyes. I watched as his friends came over to stop him.

"Dude, calm down!" Stan said trying to pull him back. Cartman looked like he was about to start foaming at the mouth. Stan grabbed his right arm and Kenny his left. I felt a smile force its way onto my face. For some reason I've always liked Kenny. Then again, all the other girls did too which made him out of my league.

Stan and Kenny pulled Cartman away, and Powder started talking again.  
"So do you guys think you can come?" she asked.  
There was a chorus of yeses, yeahs, and sures as everyone responded at once.  
"Great," Powder said, "Be at my house around 7:30 on Saturday." The bell rang shortly after as we made our way to class.

"Hey Heidi," Some one said as I stopped.

"Oh, hey Craig," I said waiting for him to catch up.

"See you in class Heidi," Bebe called before entering the room.

"So what was that at lunch?" He asked.

"I don't know, Cartman was just being retarted again. I hate him so much!" I said making fists. He pushed my arms down.

"Calm down, he'll get what's coming to him. A person can't be an asshole for their entire life and get away with it," he scoffed. Craig hated Cartman just as much if not more than any person at the school. They've been rivals for as long as I could remember. I wasn't sure what exactly made him hate Cartman, besides the fact the kid was a fat douche.

"I have to go to my locker," I said quietly taking a small step back. He looked up.

"Okay," he responded before flipping me off and walking to class. I smiled a little. Everyone else got offended by him doing that, but I was used to it. I kneeled down and started unlocking my locker when someone shoved me full force into the metal door. I turned to see a kid twice my size standing over me.

"Tell your little bitch friends they're next," Cartman whispered walking away. I rubbed my head and noticed blood on my hand. I winced in pain and sat on the floor. Stupid asshole has nothing better to do than bother me over a stupid table! I wiped the blood on my jacket and grabbed my books. My eye caught a picture of Craig and me hanging in my locker. Hopefully he was right about Cartman getting what was coming to him. Like he said, no one could be an asshole for years and get away with it. Not even him.


	2. An Early Call

"Hello?" I asked groggily into my phone.

"Heidi?" Came the voice.

"Craig?"

"Yeah, I think you may have a problem. Yo-"

"Craig, it's 3:30 in the morning!"

"Listen! I heard about the sleepover. You know, the one Sally's throwing?"

"Sally... you mean Powder?"

"Yeah whatever. Look I think Cartman's going to try and do something to you guys, just watch out."

"You couldn't wait to tell me? We don't have school and the party doesn't start until 7:30!" I mumbled angrily. He sighed.

"I just don't want anything to happen. If I know that fat asshole, he's planning big. The littlest fucking things set him off, and if I were you I'd be worried."

"Thanks Craig, but I have to go back to sleep, I'm exhausted," I said hanging up the phone. I stared at my ceiling. I tried to shut my eyes but it was useless, I was up. I threw my phone off my nightstand. I heard a knock on my door a few seconds later.

"Heidi, are you alright?"

"Yeah mom," I mumbled rolling over. I closed my eyes hoping to fall back asleep. Sure enough, twenty minutes later I was out cold.

"Heidi, it's time to get up," my mom said tapping my shoulder. I opened my eyes.

"What time is it?" I asked sitting up.

"It's 10:30 honey, you need to get up, don't you have that little party later on?" I nodded.

"I'll be downstairs in a minute mom," I said as she left the room. I heard a knock at my window. I turned to see Craig beating at the glass frantically. I opened up and he fell in. "Normal friends call on the phone before they come over," I said annoyed relocking my window. "Besides if my step dad sees you here-"

"Heidi, I was right about Cartman! You have to come with me now!" He said pulling me towards my door.

"Woa! Look at me, I can't go anywhere!" I said pointing to my pink plaid pajamas. He shook his head and flipped me off.

"No time, remember how I said he's planning huge? It's worse than I thought," he said opening my door. He went to run out as he bumped into my step dad. I put my hands over my eyes.

"Heidi, who the hell is this?" he asked trying not to get angry.

"Dad, this is Craig, you know, the kid I've been friends with since first grade?" I said trying to smile. He narrowed his eyes.

"I'm watching you," he said cracking his knuckles and walking out. Craig pulled me out of my room as if nothing had happened.

"Craig, not now please! I don't have time for this," I said pulling back. "Besides, Cartman is practically harmless! He thinks he's tough but he really isn't!"

"No! You don't get it! You didn't see what I saw!" He said practically begging. I folded my arms and walked back into my room.

"Then go stop him yourself, I'll talk to you later!" I said slamming the door.

"Heidi? Heidi!" He knocked but I didn't budge. Finally the knocking stopped. I heard a sigh and it grew quiet as footsteps filled the air. He walked away. I felt bad for yelling at him, but he seemed a little obsessive. I mean Cartman couldn't plan anything too dangerous... right?


	3. A Life Changing Experiance

_Ding Dong._

"Oh, hey Heidi!" Powder said opening the front door. She led me inside up to her room.

"Who's here already?" I asked dragging my sleeping bag behind me.

"Bebe, Wendy, and Red. We're still waiting on Millie and Anne," she answered.

"Hey Heidi!" Wendy called as I walked in.

"Hey Wendy," I said rolling out my sleeping bag. It had Paris Hilton's face plastered to it.

"You still have yours?" Powder said pointing to my bag. I nodded.

"No sense throwing out a perfectly good sleeping bag," I said looking over at Bebe's. "You still have yours too!" She nodded.

"I have everything from that phase, I bought enough stuff to last a lifetime, why waste it?" She asked laying down on her bag.

I remembered the day so clearly, when Paris Hilton came to town. We were the most obsessed people to ever follow the fad, well besides Wendy at least. As for the rest of us, we had to be the most spoiled kids to walk through South Park Elementary. I remember Bebe even threw a stupid spoiled whore party. We had fun but none of the guys liked it for some reason.

I remember as soon as Paris lost the whore – off everything changed. We went back to normal, but it was just different. The guys didn't act the same towards us. Craig even stopped talking to me for a week. Anne told me he'd come around and eventually he did, but I honestly thought I had lost him. I wasn't sure what exactly made him look at me differently. The worst thing I even did was just hang with a few guys in the pool at Bebe's.

"Hey Anne, Millie!" I said as the walked inside. They too had the Paris Hilton sleeping bags.

"Okay, did we miss anything important?" Millie asked unrolling hers. Red shook her head.

"No, we wanted to wait until everyone was here before we started. So what do you want to do now?"

"Let's tell fortunes!" Bebe said pulling out a little paper fortune teller.

"Me first!" Wendy said sitting next to Bebe. She nodded.

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

"Umm... Will I be rich when I grow up?" She questioned the device.

"Okay, pick a number," Bebe said putting her fingers in place.

"Four," Wendy said as Bebe counted out four. Wendy then looked inside and picked blue. Bebe moved it around as Wendy peeked in again. She choose purple and closed her eyes as Bebe lifted the tab.

"Totally yes!" Bebe said excitedly. We all cheered as she handed it over to Wendy.

"What about you Heidi?" She asked scooting towards me. I sighed.

"Will I do something amazing that makes me a hero?" I asked hoping that the thing would reply yes. Anything that could make me a hero would help me stand out and become well known. Wendy showed me the numbers.

"Three," I replied as she moved her hands. I looked into it. "Yellow," I said as she moved her fingers again. I looked in a third time. "Umm... green!" Wendy lifted the tab.

"Huh? It says yes and no. Who wrote that in?" She said looking around. Everyone shrugged.

"What does that even mean any way?" Powder asked.

"Maybe-" I started before I heard a knock on the door.

"Heidi?" Came Powder's mom's voice.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"You have a visitor honey, he's waiting downstairs." The girls looked at me and ran to the window laughing and giggling.

They all let out a sigh. "Oh, it's just Craig," Anne said sounding disappointed. I took a deep breath.

I ran down the stairs and opened the door. Before I could yell at him he shoved his hand over my mouth and dragged me outside. I tried to scream and kick him, but he was stronger than me. He pulled me under a tree and made a shhh noise. He let me go.

"Craig what-"

"SHHH!" He said pointing down the street. I looked to see Cartman hiding in the neighbors bushes. He grabbed my arm and pulled me across the lawn. "I told you the asshole was up to something, you just didn't listen!" He said as we stopped short. I gasped.

"Craig... what is he doing?" I felt my heart start pounding. He stood there adjusting knobs on a gas tank.Then he pulled out a few matches and started off towards Powder's house. I couldn't believe my eyes. The son of a bitch was going to try and ignite her house! The next thing I knew I was standing face to face with the lunatic.

"Move bitch!" Cartman said shoving me. He began pouring the gas all around the house almost in a ring. I heard the girls start screaming from upstairs. I honestly felt like crying.

"N- no!" I shouted trying pulling him away from the house. "I'm not letting you do this, I'm not afraid of you!" I shouted as he pushed me to the ground. I felt blood trickle down my leg as I ran full force and tackled him.

"Get off me! This must be done!" He shouted trying to throw me off. He got himself free and stared me in the face. His fat little fingers lit a match. "What are you possibly going to do about it?" He asked lowering it to the ground. I didn't have time to think so I did the only thing I could do. I closed my eyes and punched him square in the jaw. He toppled over and lay still.

And just like that my life changed forever.


	4. The Start of the Change

"Heidi? Heidi!" I opened my eyes to see Craig standing over me along with all the girls. I sat up. My eyes caught an ambulance driving away.

"Wha- what happened?" I asked woozily as Powder grabbed me. She hugged me so tightly I literally couldn't breathe.

"Heidi, you saved us! If he lit the match we wouldn't of been able to get out of the house! None of us would!" She screamed practically in tears as my memory came back.

"Heidi, you passed out right after you hit him," Craig said as Powder sat there still sobbing in my jacket. Wendy nodded.

"It was so scary but thank God you did what you did!" She added as Powder slowly released me. I watched as more and more figures crowded around me.

"Heidi that was amazing!" came a voice from behind. I turned to see Kyle smiling from ear to ear.

"It was nothing really," I said trying to sound modest. It didn't feel like a big thing that I did, but I knew that it really was. He shook his head.

"Heidi this is huge, I've wanted to do this for years! You must have hit him harder than I ever have though, I mean for him to be in the hospital..." He said as I remembered the ambulance pulling away. I watched as more and more kids from school crowded around.

"Heidi, dear are you okay?" I turned again to see Powder's mom coming towards me. I nodded.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm just a little dizzy," I said trying to stand up. I felt the ground wobble underneath me and I fell. Craig caught me and helped me up. Everyone gathered around to help me over to her mom as if I was the most important person alive. All I did was send Cartman to the hospital!

"Here," Stan said putting his arm around me. I leaned into him as Red ran to my right side. She put her arm around my right and the two of them helped me over to her mom.

"Sweetie, thank you so much for helping us out. Why don't you come inside and lay down. I can call your mother and you can go home if you want." I nodded a little and yawned. Fainting really made me tired. The two helped me inside to the couch. I climbed up and layed down. I observed the flood of people standing and watching me. They all stood smiling as the girls and Craig got them to leave. They came inside.

"Thanks again Heidi, you're a lifesaver!" Powder said hugging me again before she and the other girls headed upstairs. Craig kneeled next to me.

"That was really awsome what you did." I gave him an amused look.

"Craig, please. If you hadn't told me he was there I wouldn't have done anything. Besides, all I did was punch him."

"Yeah, but chances are he won't try anything for a little while. I'm pretty sure he learned his lesson." I nodded.

"I just hope you're right. I mean this could be awsome or he could just get madder and pull something even worse," I said starting to feel a little scared. He climbed up next to me.

"Don't worry, you'll be okay," he said putting his hand on my shoulder and grinning at me. I beamed back at him as my body relaxed. Maybe he'd be right.

"Here Heidi," Powder's mom said handing me jacket and sleeping bag. Craig took his hand off me. "I'll drive you home, you've had a very long night," she said sweetly. Craig and I hopped down and started for the door. We walked to the end of the drive way.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said before flipping me off. I nodded.

"See you tomorrow." I heard a little noise escape from Powder's mom as she opened the door for me.

"Did that boy just flip you off?" she asked nervously. I nodded.

"I think I'd be more afraid if he didn't," I responded. She gave me a look and got into the drivers seat. The car pulled out as I watched Craig disappear through the back window. I yawned again and closed my eyes. I layed my head down on the back seat and fell asleep on the ride home.


	5. A Bedroom Visit

"Heidi, we're here," Powder's mom said tapping me slightly. I opened my eyes to see the street light on the corner of my block shining brightly. I grabbed my stuff and opened the door. Wobbling, I made my way to my house. I said goodnight and trudged up the stairs and into my room. My bed was soft and warm as I fell onto it. A smile came onto my face as my eyes closed again. I felt the world give out as I slipped into a dream that lasted me the entire night.

My deep sleep ended with me opening my eyes the next morning to see Kenny standing over me. Naturally I screamed. "What are you doing here?" I questioned as my heart slowed a little.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright is all," He said looking around. "I heard you fainted after you hit Cartman. I wanted to make sure he didn't do anything to you."

"Well... I'm okay I guess," I said as my conscious kicked in and I realized Kenny McCormick was standing in my bedroom.

"Everyone's talking about what you did, you're practically famous," he said picking up a picture frame.

"Famous?" I hardly whispered. "All I did was punch out Cartman, why am I famous?" He shrugged.

"I guess you did what everyone wanted to. You took out the problem and saved a group of people. Anyone who could do that is famous in my book," he said putting down the frame. His eyes caught mine and I could have sworn I screamed inside. "Well, I wanted to make sure you were okay. I guess I'll... see you around?" He asked. I nodded. He headed for the door but smiled at me before he left. As soon as he was out of view of my front lawn I started jumping for joy. Before I could think what to do next I heard a knock from my door.

"Heidi, Craig's here to see you," my mom's voice said.

"Okay," I said showing my excided mood in my tone. He walked in smiling. My smile was wider of course.

"What are you so happy about?" He asked as I jumped on my bed.

"Kenny was in my room this morning! MY room!" I said as his face twisted a little. "He said he'd see me around!" I flopped onto my back practically laughing myself into tears. I was overjoyed. I noticed Craig wasn't as happy as I was.

"What's with you?" I asked. He flipped me off.

"What's so great about Kenny anyway?" I was taken back.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you like him so much?" I sat for a minute trying to find a good answer.

"Well he's genuine, he's not materialistic, he's smart, what's not to like?" I asked as he sat on the floor.

"I don't trust him." I gave him a look.

"And why not?"

"He acts like he's all that just because the girls practically run to him. You say he's genuine but he's not," he said as I opened my mouth a little confused. "If I know Kenny he's only after one thing in a girlfriend. That's not the type of guy you want." I folded my arms.

"How do you know what I want?" I asked a little annoyed. He put his hands up defensively.

"Look, I just don't want you to get hurt. Just remember that," he said as I nodded stiffly. It wasn't the first time he'd done this. He did it when I liked Stan. I think the story was, _even if he went out with you, you'd be his second choice. He's in love with Wendy. Try someone else; there are other guys who'll want you as their first choice._ Then he did it when I liked Token. That time he told me, _the kid's so rich he can't have any values. Don't waste your time with him. _I never knew why he did it but every time he tried to "warn" me about a guy he'd end with "I just don't want you to get hurt." I wish he would just let me figure it out on my own.

"Thanks, but this time I think I'll be okay," I said standing up. "You can call me later if you want to talk or whatever, but not until after 4. I'm probably going shopping with Bebe," I said as he nodded and flipped me off.

"I'll talk to you then," he said leaving. I shut my door behind him. He couldn't be right about Kenny. Kenny couldn't want "one thing" from his girlfriend. I lay down on my bed and stared at my ceiling. Why did Craig do this every time?


	6. You're Invited

"Honey, are you alright?" Came a voice as I turned to see my step dad standing in the hallway. I half nodded as he came into my room. "What's wrong?" I sighed.

"Craig's just acting-"

"Craig? That boy?" he asked giving emphasis on the word boy.

"He's just acting different. I don't know. He got all mad before, like protective or something," I said slowly. He patted me on the back.

"Don't worry, if he tries anything funny I'll let him have it," he said trying to be supportive.

"I think he'll be okay," I responded quickly, trying to tell him not to hurt Craig, "but thanks." He smiled.

"Anything for my Heidi." He added before left me sitting alone. I got up and grabbed clothes for the day. I found myself holding a pair of jeans and a blue shirt.

"Whatever, that's fine," I said to myself. I threw the clothes down on my bed and grabbed my phone. My fingers dialed Bebe's number as I waited for an answer.

"Hello?"

"Is Bebe there? It's Heidi," I said recognizing Bebe's mother's voice.

"Oh hi Heidi, hold on one second," she said before screaming Bebe's name.

"Hello?" Bebe said as her mother hung up.

"Hey, are we still on for shopping? You know, we made the plans Monday?" I asked hoping she didn't forget.

"Yeah of course," she said casually. "My mom can pick you up in ten minutes, is that okay?"

"Yeah, that works," I said twisting the pink phone cord. "I'll see you then." I hung up my phone and threw on the outfit I grabbed. I pulled on my green jacket and stared in the mirror.

I ran a brush through my matted hair before I decided I looked acceptable. A horn honked as I raced downstairs to see Bebe's mother's car sitting in my driveway. "Bye mom, I'll be back soon!" I called as she nodded. I opened the car door. "Thanks for the ride," I said as her mom smiled at me.

"We defiantly needed this shopping trip, we haven't gone in like five weeks," Bebe said as I watched my house disappear. I pulled her closer.

"Guess who was in my room this morning," I said as her face lit up.

"Who?" She asked impatiently.

"Kenny. Kenny McCormick was in my room this morning." Her jaw dropped.

"Why?" She asked hoping for details.

"Something about wanting to see if I was okay."

"Wow Heidi, that's big news!" She said with a grin.

"I know!" I said excitedly. "It's not every day I wake up to see Kenny standing over my bed-"

"He was standing over your bed!?!" She said giggling. I nodded and felt my face grow pink.

"So did he say anything else?" I ran through the entire conversation.

"Just that he'd see me around," I said trying to make it sound casual, all the while I was screaming inside yet again. She squealed with excitement and we both let out a laugh.

"Sounds like you two are awfully happy!" Her mom said as we pulled into a parking spot.

"Heidi's just having a good day," Bebe said as I remembered that my day wasn't going perfect. Craig had come over and bothered me. I shook off the memory as we entered the mall. It was pretty empty for a Saturday. Suddenly I heard someone call my name.

"Heidi! Hi!" I turned to see Red coming towards me.

"Hi Red, shopping I see?" I said pointing to her multiple shopping bags. She was followed by Millie.

"So how are you feeling?" Millie asked as I shrugged.

"Better I guess. I'm not dizzy anymore if that's what you mean."

"We'll catch up with you later, bye Heidi!" Red called as the walked away. I turned. Bebe was standing with her mouth open.

"They didn't even say hi to me" she whispered. She shook her head. "Let's go in there," she said trying to forget what happened. I followed her into a new store that opened two weeks ago. As I was looking through the stuff I heard my name again.

"Hey Heidi," I turned this time to see Clyde.  
"Hi Clyde," I said picking up a shirt.

"Hi Clyde," Bebe said. He waved a little to her before trying to start up a conversation with me.

"I heard what you did, that was sweet dude," he said. I half smiled as I put the shirt back down.

"Yeah I guess it was alright."

"Alright? You knocked him out! I have to go, but I'll talk to you on Monday. Maybe you could sit with Token, Tweek, Jason, and me at lunch?" He asked. I shrugged.

"That's cool." He smiled and walked off.

"What was that?" Bebe said a little annoyed.

"I don't know, but I'm sure this whole thing will blow over," I said walking over to the dressing rooms. I threw my stuff on the bench and tried on the shirt. I heard Bebe sigh from outside. She was used to a lot of attention. I knew why she liked it. It was pretty cool having people talking to me all of a sudden. I mean, this never happened before. Clyde has never spoken more than one word to me and now he wants me to sit with him at lunch...

"I think I'm getting this one," I said opening the door. Bebe smiled at me. She held up the same shirt as the one I was holding only in a light yellow.

"We'll match!" She said happily. I smiled.

"Let's go pay," I said getting in line.

The rest of the day was basically the same as the beginning was. I had run into Kyle in the mall too. Like Clyde, he spoke only to me and barely said two words to Bebe. I knew she was pissed by the way she pulled me out of our conversation.

"I'll see you Monday!" He called as she dragged me into a different store.

By the end of our trip Bebe was a shade of red I haven't seen before. I wasn't sure if she was mad at me or my new found attention. Her mom pulled in my driveway.

"Bye Bebe," I said. She glared at me.

"I'll see you Monday," she said angrily as she pulled my door shut with a slam. Her mom waved happily at me and I returned it. As her car pulled away I saw my mom standing in the doorway.

"Honey someone called for you," she said handing me a piece of paper. "He said he wanted you to call him back."

"I'll call Craig later-"

"Craig? It wasn't Craig honey," she said before disappearing into the house. I looked down at the slip of paper. It read:

Kevin – 745-7659

I tilted my head a little as I grabbed a phone. I dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Umm... Is Kevin there? It's Heidi," I said a little confused.

"Hi, it's me," he said casually as if we talked every day.

"Oh, hi. You uhhh called?"

"Yeah, listen, I'm having a party next weekend and I saw what you did. That was awsome. Thanks to you I don't even have to invite that fat asshole. So I was wondering if you wanted to come."

"Yeah sure, that'd be awsome," I said smiling.

"Nice, I'll see you there. It's at 8:00 on Friday night."

"Okay, bye," I said hanging up the phone. Right as I hung it up it started to ring. I smiled as I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's after four what's up?" Came Craig's voice.

"Not much really, I've become very popular though."  
"What do you mean?"

"Today at the mall Clyde invited me to sit with him at lunch on Monday and Kyle just started talking to me. Then Kevin called out of no where and invited me to his party." There was a short pause.

"That's... cool," he said slowly. "How'd Bebe take it?" He asked aware of her attitude towards not being the center of attention.

"Not so well, I think she's pissed off at me," I responded. "But if she wants to get mad over nothing let her. It's not my fault I did what I did, I was trying to save her!"

"Don't let anyone get to you, you said it yourself, you were doing what was right."

"Yeah," I said starting to draw on the slip of paper my mom handed me. I found myself making hearts with K + H inside them.

"So you wanna hang out later? We could go to the movies." He asked.

"What?" I said realizing I spaced.

"The movies. You want to go?"

"Not today, maybe next week."

"Oh." I heard the pause grow longer.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow or Monday... okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure, that's cool." He said before hanging up the phone. I hung up too. I grabbed the piece of paper and headed upstairs. Little did I know Craig was more upset than I thought.


	7. Ruler of School

"Heidi, time for school!" My mom called. I rolled out of bed. The weekend had been crazy. On Sunday I had gotten visits from every kid in the class. No complaining though, it was kind of cool. As soon as I was ready I headed for my bus stop.

"Hey Lola, Tweek, Craig," I said waving to them. Lola and Tweek waved back, Craig flipped me off. The bus pulled up. As I got on I heard everyone say unanimously, "Hi Heidi!" I waved a little and pulled into a seat with Wendy.

"So how was your weekend Miss Popular?" She said giggling.

"Exactly that. Everywhere I go people are saying hi to me or trying to act like they are my best friend. It's pretty cool," I said smiling. I turned to see Kenny looking at me through his parka. My heart skipped a beat. He smiled back at me as Wendy nudged me.

"He kept looking over here as if waiting for you to get on the bus," She said as my smile stretched even further. The bus halted to a short stop as I smacked my face into the seat in front of me.

"God! At least warn us!" I said loudly to myself. I saw Ms. Crabtree sneer at us. My mouth shut itself automatically as if afraid to speak another word. The door opened as we filed out. I waited by the open door after I got out for Anne and Wendy to get off. We were the only three to share a bus. Red, Powder, Millie, and Bebe were on bus 24 while we were on 47.

Every kid that got off gave me a smile. First was Clyde. "Still on for lunch?" He asked. I nodded. "Nice," he said as Jason came behind him. He smiled and waved at me. I waved back to be nice. As soon as he saw my gesture his face turned pink and he walked away. Lockie came off next.

"Hey Heidi," he said. As I did for the others, I waved to him too. "See you in class," he said happily running after Jason. Every single kid to leave the bus gave me some sort of reaction. As Wendy and Anne left the bus it pulled away leaving a cloud of smoke.

"What- what's that?" Anne coughed as a red station wagon pulled up. As the smoke cleared we stood watching as Cartman got out of the car wearing a neck brace, Band-Aids covering his jaw, and holding a cane. God that kid was an over reactor.

He looked me in the eye and I could have sworn it twitched in fear for a split second, but after the second was up, he furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes trying to look tough.

"Heidi," he said passing and shoving me. I lifted an arm as if to hit him as he flinched. I smiled manically.

"Eric," I said as he shook his fists angrily for falling into my plan. He hobbled over to the entrance of the school and disappeared. Wendy and Anne stood in shock.

"Wow Heidi, you sure became powerful," Anne said as we started walking.

"Just make sure you don't abuse your power. I would hate to see..." she lectured on until we reached the class room. "You know?" She ended. I nodded. She was right in a way but I intended to benefit from every second of this.

"Okay students, let's start the day with vocabulary. Eric what the hell are you doing?" Mrs. Garrison asked as Cartman attempted to get in his chair. Apparently me hitting him in the jaw made him incapable of walking let alone sitting.

"Just trying - trying – to get - up!" He said in between pants. He fell into the chair. "If you haven't noticed, I was injured over the weekend," he said as I smacked my forehead. This kid was ridiculous!

"Well I don't really give a rat's ass about your personal life Eric. You come here to learn," she said erasing the chalkboard. "Okay, like I was saying. We can start with vocabulary." As I copied down the words I looked over at Bebe. She looked better but still had the look of anger in her eyes. She glanced up at me but quickly returned her view to her paper as if she couldn't bare to look at me. I sighed.

As class dragged on I found myself making the same hearts I was drawing two days ago. I watched my hand move swiftly to make the K and the H somehow connect. "Watcha drawing?" a voice came as I quickly covered the paper. I turned to see Kenny staring me in the face.

"Nothing, just uhhh notes," I lied quickly. He raised an eyebrow.

"No one smiles that much taking notes," he said reaching for the paper.

"No!" I whisper yelled loudly. He tried to reach for it again but this time was intercepted by Kyle.

"Dude leave her alone, she's just trying to take notes!" He said scolding his friend. He smiled at me and continued writing on his own paper. I watched Kenny look at my sheet once more before returning to the lesson. Finally the bell rang and we were let out for lunch. Naturally I waited for Wendy, Bebe, and the rest of them.

"Hey guys," I said as they came over. "Ready?" I asked as someone tapped my arm. I turned to see Clyde, Tweek, Token and Jason.

"Aren't you sitting with us today?" Clyde asked as Tweek jumped a little.

"Oh yeah! Sorry guys," I said as Red frowned.

"That's okay, we'll catch you later," Millie said pulling the other girls along. I walked through the hallways with them. I got glances from every direction; it was like I was famous. We pulled up a table near the door.

"So Heidi, how was your weekend?" Jason asked as I opened my lunch bag.

"Kind of hectic. Everywhere I went people were talking to me," I informed as he nodded.

"That was amazing what you did," Token said. I felt myself blush. Even though I didn't have feelings for him anymore I couldn't help but think he was cute.

"It was really nothing," I started as he shook his head.

"That was incredible. I mean the kids so screwed up he thinks he needs a cane," he said pointing to a fat kid who was having a difficult time climbing onto a seat due to a cane. What an ass.

"Hear you're going to Kevin's party," Clyde said taking a bite of his sandwich. "Guess we'll see you there." He said as Tweek jumped again.

"So – argh! - you weren't afraid of Cartman?" Tweek asked twitching a little. I shook my head.

"I had to help my friends, he would have killed them if I didn't," I said as token nodded. He moved a little closer to me as my face turned a maroon. The bell rang again as we cleared the table and headed to class. "I have to wait for Craig, I'll see you later," I said as they waved goodbye. Craig came up beside me.

"You didn't sit with the girls today?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Clyde invited me to sit with him on Saturday, remember?" I asked. He half nodded.

"How was Token?" he questioned, remembering my crush on him five months ago.

"He was fine," I said trying to keep calm. Suddenly Craig was out of view and I was standing next to Kenny. I looked back to see Craig picking up his backpack angrily, as if someone had shoved him.

"Hey Heidi," Kenny interjected as I snapped back into reality.

"Oh, hi," I said as Craig walked to class, alone.

"I hear you're going to Kevin's party," he said. Since when did everyone know Kevin invited me?

"Yeah I am," I said looking at the floor.

"I was uhhh wondering," he started before pausing. My heart started beating faster.

"Yeah?" I asked hoping he'd finish his sentence before the bell rang.

"If maybe, you know I could pick you up and we could go together?" His words nearly made me scream. I composed myself inside before answering.

"Yeah, that'd be pretty cool," I said wondering if me hitting Cartman was the reason for his sudden interest in me. What ever it was, I didn't care. Kenny had just basically asked me out. I assumed he smiled through his parka.

"Great! I was thinking we could walk to his house around 7:30?" He said more casually. I nodded.

"Sounds great."

"Cool, see you in class," he said before leaving me standing alone. My heart rate was still faster than normal as I grinned widely. This would most defiantly be the best party of my life.


	8. Bebe's Breakdown

I tried to make the week go by faster in anyway possible. However the laws of physics were against me and each day went slower than imaginable. Tuesday went the fastest but was long none the less. I found out that day that the only other girl out of our gang that had been invited to Kevin's party was Red. Bebe looked like she was going to kill Kevin when she found out.

"What the hell does he think he's doing? He invited me to the last ten parties he threw!" She yelled to us during lunch. Anne patted her on the back.

"Don't worry Bebe, Kevin's not that cool anyway. His party will probably suck." Red nodded to show her agreement.

"It won't be fun without you guys anyway, right Heidi?" She asked.

"Yeah, we'll probably have a horrible time," I lied. I knew that since I was going with Kenny there was no way it would be bad.

"We can hang at my house and watch movies on Friday," Millie offered as Bebe simply put her face in her arms and cried.

Wednesday seemed a little longer than Tuesday. We learned about the civil war and had to act out different parts. There was the North General, the South General, President Lincoln, and as Mrs. Garrison put it, the Southern Bell Bitch who prances around like a skank and sleeps with the Southern General. Anyway, she broke us up into groups of four and we had to put on a little skit for the class. To my luck and horror, I was paired with Anne, Kenny, and Cartman. Uggh.

Anne played President Lincoln, Cartman played the Northern general while Kenny played the south. I was left with the "Southern Belle" who had no lines but stood there screaming as Cartman put a gun to my head. The other groups did the skit really well until it was our turn. Anne donned herself with a tall hat and fake beard while Cartman pulled on a blue jacket and Kenny a grey. I had the pleasure of wearing a hoop skirt with a metal frame and a bonnet.

The skit started with Cartman and Kenny sitting at a table. Cartman took longer getting in his chair than Kenny did thanks to his cane. They both said a few things about the war, like how the north wanted slaves to be free because they are people too, and how the south wanted the slaves because they helped their economy. Soon they were yelling and screaming at each other and getting completely off topic.

"The North wants slaves free!"

"We want slaves, they help us you moron! You don't work in fields! You just sit on your lazy fat ass all day instead of doing manual labor! You have no idea what we go through!"

"Don't call me fat you poor asshole! The north works hard, we just do things that are more beneficial!"

"You don't do anything! All you do is yell at us because we're 'mistreating people'. You mistreat people every day you cocksucker!"

"I don't do anything? Why don't you look at your father! All he does is sit around! That's why you're poor!"

"THAT'S IT! I'm no longer a part of you! I secede!" shouted Kenny. Anne smacked her hand to her forehead as the two stood up and gave each other the death stare.

"As president of this country, I am going to write the Emancipation Proclamation which will free all the slaves and hopefully help us to end this war!" Anne said writing on a piece of loose leaf. She held it up as Kenny looked down sadly.

"In your face you poor butt fucker!" Cartman shouted pointing at Kenny. He went to lunge at the fat kid but I stepped in between them. Just as I knew it would happen I felt a fake gun put to my head, so I screamed like I knew I had to.

Kenny grabbed me away from the gun. My eyes caught his and I could have sworn his look he gave me wasn't acting. I felt my heart melt as Cartman shouted, "Bang! She's dead dude." I stumbled a little and fell to the ground. Kenny leaned next to me as if checking for a pulse. He got back up and pulled out a fake musket. Cartman and Kenny started smacking each other with the guns until Cartman hit too hard and Kenny fell over, slightly bleeding through his hood.

"And so the north wins! Slaves are free!" Anne said and we stood up and took a bow. Kenny pressed his hand to his head to stop the bleeding as he returned his jacket. We stripped off the borrowed props and sat back down.

"Very nice kids. Felt like I was actually there. Check plus," Mrs. Garrison said not looking up from her grade book. Anne high fived me as the bell rang. I waited up for the girls. Bebe didn't look any better. She was still upset about not being invited to Kevin's. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"When you throw your next amazing party, don't invite him. That'll teach him," I said as she half smiled.

"Thanks Heidi," she said getting on the lunch line with the other girls. Millie and me pulled up a table.

"Nice skit Heidi," she said pulling out her lunch.

"I think I liked yours better when you had to pretend to be in love with Token. God, a black Southern General," I laughed.

"Who's pretending?" She said with an obvious wink. I laughed again. She was always joking about the guys in class. I knew who she really liked and it wasn't Token.

Bebe sat next to me and sighed deeply. _She saw Kevin._ Wendy mouthed to me. I nodded. I turned my head to see Kevin walking slowly as if he had seen a ghost. _She nearly screamed him deaf._ She mouthed again. I watched as he shook off the feeling of being terrified long enough to smile and wave to me.

"Hi Heidi!" He called as Bebe let out a long cry into Wendy's jacket.

"What's happening to me?" She asked no one.

"Honey, Kevin's not cool anyway, he's probably going to play checkers and have milk for everyone to drink," Anne told her. Bebe looked up.

"Besides, you're still invited to Jason's V- Day party next week right?" Millie asked.

"That's true, he's way cooler than Kevin anyway!" She assured herself. "Hi Jason," she said as he passed.

"Hi Bebe, still coming to my Valentine's Day party next week?" He asked as her face lit up.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"Cool, I'll see you all there," he said walking away. Did he mean me too?

"We can carpool," Red said pointing to all of us. Apparently he did. "It'll be funner than Kevin's anyway." I smiled. I wasn't so sure about that.


	9. Words that could kill

I sat shaking in my seat staring at the clock. It was Friday and there was five minutes left of class. I was about to die. "Okay class, I guess you can pack up. It's about time to go," Mrs. Garrison said putting papers in her desk draw. I grabbed my stuff and shoved it in my backpack.

"So I'll see you tonight?" Came a voice. I turned to see Kenny.

"Of course, 7:30?"

"Yeah, I might be a little earlier," he said as the bell rang. "Okay, well I'll see you then," he said touching my arm. "Bye."

"Bye," I whispered as he disappeared from sight.

"Are we walking home together? Heidi? Are we walking?" Craig asked. I snapped out of my daze.

"Yeah. I want to get home early though. I've got to find the perfect outfit for tonight."

"Oh yeah you're going. Want me to pick you up? You're on the way," he said as I bit my lip.

"I'm sorry, Kenny already asked me." His eyes looked sad and shocked all at once.

"Kenny?"

"Yeah."

"So that's why he pushed me," he said under his breath as he kicked the floor. "Fine, go with him. I'll go alone. Talk you later Heidi," he said storming out of the room.

"Craig, wait!" I called as he left my view.

I got home and threw my backpack on the couch. I ran to my room and pushed open my closet. My hands grabbed the shirt I bought at the mall. It was baby blue with a V neckline. The sleeves were flowy and it hung like a baby doll shirt. "Perfect," I whispered switching my shirt for the new one.

I reached into my bottom draw and pulled out a pair of jean shorts. "Again, perfect," I said pulling off my pants and putting on the shorts. I looked in the mirror. My hair was a mess. I grabbed it with my fingers and tired to see what it looked like up. Horrible. I brushed it a few times until it looked pretty. I lie on my bed and closed my eyes. Thoughts of me and Kenny filled my head. Such happy thoughts.

I fell asleep for a few hours until I was awaken by the sound of my doorbell. I shot up and raced down the stairs. Kenny was standing in my doorway. He looked so good. His hood was off exposing his gorgeous hair and beautiful eyes. He was wearing a plain white Tee shirt and a pair of jeans, yet I thought he looked more amazing then any other guy could ever.

"How Heidi, you look amazing," he said as I remembered what I was wearing.

"Thanks," I said turning red.

"We should probably get going now, we have to walk... my dad's car broke down again," his voice trailed off.

"Don't worry, that'll be better anyway," I said as he smiled.

"Heidi, who's that?" My Step Dad called.

"Jesus...Umm no one dad! I'm going for a walk, I'll be back later!" I shouted to him closing the door. Kenny gave me a bewildered look. "Don't ask," I said as we started off. I felt on top of the world at that moment. Nothing could make the night any better. A few minutes later we arrived at Kevin's house.

"Hey Heidi... and Kenny? Ohh! Thanks for coming. Everyone's already here," he said opening the door. It was true, EVERYONE was there.

"Hey Heidi!" Red said sitting on the couch next to Clyde. They were laughing as if they were drunk. Apparently they were having a good time. She hopped off the couch and walked over to me. "Let's dance!" she said pulling me into the middle of his living room.

"Red, what are you doing?" I asked as he she spun me.

"Having fun!" was her answer. She went to spin me again but instead threw me into a group of people.

"Sorry!" I said as they turned around.

"It's okay," they said as they sat around a closet. I watched as two people came out. I instantly recognized them as Lockie and Lola.

"That was two minutes," someone said as Lola started giggling. She and Lockie sat back down. I felt Kenny stand next to me.

"Two minutes in the closet?" he said looking at me. Did he want me to do that with him? My mind started to race.

"Well," I started before someone pulled me backwards.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Craig asked me as I found myself in Kevin's kitchen.

"Just trying to have fun," I started.

"Two minutes in the closet?" he asked.

"Why are you so mad all of a sudden?" I asked growing annoyed at his constant interfering. "You got all upset when I said we couldn't go to the movies, you were pissed off when I said I was going to the party with Kenny, and you even talked down about him, what gives?" He looked a little stunned.

"I just don't-"

"Want me to get hurt I know!" I yelled. "Look, I know you care but I can figure things out for myself. You're a great friend Craig, but I think I can handle my life." He stood there unaware of what to say. I stormed out of the kitchen and grabbed Kenny's arm. I pulled him out of Craig's sight. He had no right to tell me how to live my life.


	10. Different Perspective

* * *

Craig's POV:

I pulled up a chair and put my face in my hands. What was she doing? How could she even consider two minutes in the closet with Kenny? That was basically like losing your virginity at 9! "Dude, you okay?"

I looked up to see Clyde. "Yeah I'm fine," I said as he pulled up a chair.

"Then come party!" I shook my head.

"I'm just going home," I said pushing out my chair. He stopped it with his foot.

"What's going on man?" My eyes caught the closet. "Heidi?" He asked. I looked at him.

"How'd you know?"

"Dude, you've been acting weird since she started liking Kenny." I sighed. "Come on snap out of it. There's other girls out there."

"But she's not like that to me," I said as he gave me a look.

"Deny it all you want, but you know how you feel." I hesitated.

"But what do I do?" He paused to think.

"Well I'm not really sure, but I think you need to tell her."

"I will when I'm ready," I said as he nodded and left me sitting alone in the kitchen. I listened to the loud music playing and everyone screaming like they were having the time of their life. I had to get out of there. Not only was I about to lose my best friend and the person I love, but I was about to lose her to a guy who thinks with his dick.

I started for the door. "Where are you going?" Red asked sounding drunk.

"Home, and I hope that's water in your bottle," I said before grabbing the doorknob. She stared at the bottle, shrugged, and gulped down a few more sips.

I turned before I left to see Heidi holding Kenny's hand. She was laughing happily. Her laughter sounded happier then it ever did when she was with me.

I felt miserable. Nothing could make this night any worse. I reached my house and trudged up the stairs. My body fell to my bed as if I had walked a thousand miles and couldn't move. My heart beat slower and slower with every tick of the clock. What was she thinking? She couldn't really want him... could she? My stomach jumped. I could feel myself sweating as I remembered how we left off. I threw my jacket, pants, shirt, and hat to the floor and pulled the blankets over me.

"Home so soon?" My mom's voice said as she opened the door. I pretended to be asleep to get her to shut up. I was in no mood to talk to her and I was sure I wouldn't be in a mood to talk to Heidi on Monday. After I heard her leave I stared at my wall. I had covered it with pictures of me and my friends. Heidi was in the dead center staring at me. She was waving to who ever was taking the picture and I had my arm around her flipping off the camera. She looked so happy. I tried to retrace her steps to figure out what had made her the way she was. She was not what she used to be. Now she was all high and mighty and basically a stupid slut.

I smacked myself for thinking that. I shut my eyes tightly hoping I'd wake up from this nightmare and everything would be okay. I'd wake up to see Heidi, normal Heidi. Not the girl who basically told me to but out of her life. I opened an eye to find myself not where I wanted to be. I was lying in my bed staring at a picture of the past. My eyes focused on my phone. I knew what I had to do. I had to move on, no matter what I really _wanted_ to do. I wanted to do was pick up the phone and tell her everything, tell her that I loved her and that was why I was acting how I did. I felt my head start pounding as I realized no matter what I wanted, she would never want me. I had to give her what she wanted; I had to let her go.


	11. Losing it all

I could feel myself wobbling a little as the night grew on. I was exhausted from dancing and 'letting go'. Kenny knew I was ready to leave. "Hold on, I want to say bye to Red first," I said looking for her. Minutes later I found her laying on the floor passed out. I nudged her with my foot. She opened an eye. "I'm heading out," I said pointing towards the door.

"Leaving so soon? The parties just getting started!" She said trying to get up. She fell over in a heap, apparently more tired than she let on.

"I'll call you tomorrow," I said leaving her as Kenny left with me to take me home. Red was the definition of a partier. She would have fun until she literally couldn't move. It was late as we left the house. I could feel the cold night air brushing against my skin.

"I'd offer you a jacket if I had one," Kenny said putting his arm around me.

"Thanks anyway," I said quietly. His arm around me was better than any jacket would ever be. The rest of the walk was silent, but it wasn't awkward at all. It was the type of silence that was meant to be, the type that people knew they wanted. We didn't speak, instead we walked, his arm around me, taking in each other's presence.

When we reached my house, it did become awkward. I wasn't exactly sure what to say. Thankfully, he took over. "I really had a good time tonight; maybe we could do something again soon?" I smiled. Exactly what I wanted to hear.

"I'd love to!" I said excitedly but not eagerly. He smiled and leaned in towards me. I felt my back push against the door as he moved closer to me. My heart started pounding as his face came closer to mine...

Suddenly my body jerked as my front door opened. I fell on my back looking up at my step dad. "Oh, hi daddy!" I said getting up. He looked pissed.

"And who's this?" He said pointing a big finger at Kenny. Kenny just stood there with a look of confusion, fear, and worry on his face.

"Just a friend," I said waving good bye to Kenny and shutting the door. I heard him walk away probably confused. My step dad glared at me and pointed up the stairs which roughly translated to: _Go to your room and if I ever catch you with that boy again I'll crush his bones into powder and lock you away from the world until you're 25._ I obeyed and made my way to my room and closed the door behind me. I threw my shoes full force at the door which locked me inside, leaving scuff marks where they hit. My head hit my pillow and my eyes made their way to my bulletin board which was coated with pictures. I scanned each one absorbing the memories.

The first was of Bebe and me making silly faces at the camera. I remembered we took the picture on a Saturday after we had gone skating. The next picture was of Red and Powder holding me up, so I was sitting on both their shoulders. That picture was taken after Powder's third annual slumber party. The third picture made me hesitate. It was of Craig and me. He had his arm around me. I was waving to the camera and he was flipping it off. We looked happy. That picture was from his 9th birthday. I felt a headache come on as I thought of what had happened a few hours ago.

I had yelled at him, and he went somewhere. I tried looking for him, but he was no where to be seen. My heart stopped for a second. What if something happened to him? I shook my head. We were both old enough to take care of ourselves. I don't need his help living and I'm sure he doesn't need mine. My eyes stayed focused on the picture until the phone rang besides me causing me to jump a few feet in the air. I picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hi, we need to talk." I sighed relief. It was Craig.

"Listen about before-"

"Save it," he said coldly. I stopped.

"What are you-"

"Heidi, listen, I'm taking your advice. I'm leaving you to find the guy you want and I'm going to stop bothering you. From this point on you don't have to worry about me." He hung up the phone.

"Craig? Craig?" I sat there trying desperately to get him to respond. My fingers redialed his number but all I got was his answering machine.

"We're sorry we can't get to the phone now, but if you leave a message we might pretend to care and not delete it right away. Thanks." I hung up my phone and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't stay mad at me. I couldn't be losing my best friend...


	12. False Hope

**Hey, sorry it's been so long for an update but school started and ugh. Keep reviewing and giving reason to update faster. :P And now...**

* * *

"Hello?"

"Millie, I need help," I said holding back tears.

"Heidi, what's wrong?"

"I don't know! I got in a small fight with Craig and he called me up and basically told me he didn't want to be friends with me anymore! I think he was serious!" I choked into the receiver as tears flooded down my cheeks. She paused a second as if waiting for me to lower my crying.

"Don't worry, it'll be okay," she said trying to calm me. My tears kept coming.

"It's all my fault! I just got mad, but I didn't want him to never talk to me again!" I said choking on each word.

"Heidi-"

"He's never done this before! Sure we fight sometimes, but he's never ever done this!" I shouted cutting her off.

"Look Heidi, you're really upset and probably tired too. Try and get some sleep and call me tomorrow. You'll probably feel better and I can help you," she said as my crying slowed.

"Okay," I said softly.

"I'll talk to you then, love ya Heidi," she said before hanging up on me. She had hung up on me. All she was probably doing was watching some stupid movie with Bebe and Wendy and the rest of them. I lied down on my back and started at my ceiling. I was stuck. All my friends were out together so I couldn't call them for help, Red seemed so drunk calling her would make me feel even worse, and I couldn't get through to Craig at all. My head ached as I racked my mind for someone- anyone who'd be able to help me.

"Hello?"

"I need help, really bad..."

"Heidi?"

"Yeah it's me," I said realizing I had forgotten to say my name. "I'm sorry I called so late, I just need help and-"

"Don't worry about it," he said smoothly. "What happened?"

I explained how when I got home from the party Craig had called and told me he didn't want to talk to me ever again. There was a pause.

"That's what happened when you were in the kitchen?"

"It's just, well yeah. But it's not like I didn't have reason to be mad. He was talking down... well about you."

"Me?"

"Yeah... he said I could do better than you..."

"Do you feel that way," Kenny said slowly as if afraid of the answer.

"Not at all!" I said quickly defending him. "I just don't know what made him say that, and now he hates me. I honestly don't know if he'll ever talk to me again. He doesn't kid about this stuff."

"Don't worry, Heidi. Everything will be okay I promise." I smiled to myself.

"Thanks Kenny, I'm glad I called you," I said hanging up the phone. I lie on my back and closed my eyes as the darkness of my room engulfed me. His promise echoed through my head as I slowly drifted off to sleep. It would be okay, Kenny promised. Craig would realize that he had been stupid for calling and apologize. It would all be okay.


	13. Tipping over the edge

I lowered my head to my desk sadly. Kenny had been wrong, everything wasn't okay. That morning at the bus stop Craig didn't even make eye contact with me until I said hi to him, to which his response was a face you give to a person you don't know who's randomly talking to you. Before class started I tried talking to him again at his locker.

"Craig, listen," I said before pausing. I felt my heart tear in two as I realized the picture of us in his locker was taken down and instead there was a small poster for Red Racer. I didn't know what to say. He simply acted like I wasn't there and walked off to class with Tweek.

"Miss Turner do you feel like paying attention in my class?" Mrs. Garrison said angrily. I knew she was pissed since she used my last name. She hardly even used Cartman's.

"Yeah, sure," I said rolling my eyes to the top of my head to see her. She glared at me before returning to the board.

"Okay students, today we're going to learn about..." I started to drown out her voice. It was probably something we didn't need to know about. Something that no other teacher ever taught. I looked over at Craig who was taking notes which I was sure he'd never look at again. I felt my eyes hold off tears as I turned away quickly. My gaze hit Kenny who was drawing some odd scene on a piece of paper. I couldn't figure out exactly what his sketches were supposed to be, but I was pretty sure one of the girls he drew resembled me slightly...

"That doesn't make any sense at all!" Kyle shouted throwing me out of my world. "Of course the holocaust happened you fucking retard!" Uh oh, the holocaust. I had to pay attention, we were supposed to actually learn this lesson unlike the many other odd ones.

"Look! I'm not saying it happened or it didn't happen, but I just don't understand why Hitler had to die in the end. He's like the greatest person to ever walk the Earth!" Cartman argued back as Kyle's face grew a deep shade of red. He clenched his fists and looked as though he was about to strike down the fat kid in the neck brace.

"BOYS! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" Mrs. Garrison screamed as Kyle's face returned to its normal color and Cartman jumped a little surprised. The class grew silent. "Okay, so anyway," she continued as if nothing had happened. I grabbed my pen and started drawing on a piece of paper too. It was the only way I could pass the time. Somehow my hand had managed to draw at least fifty hearts. My mind jolted suddenly as I remembered Thursday was Valentine's Day. I smiled to myself. At least that was good.

My eyes caught Kenny's. He slid me a piece of paper. I grabbed it and opened it.

"You want to study with me on Wednesday for the big test?" I sighed. Mrs. Garrison was the only person who hated Valentine's Day so much she gave a huge test to make the day bad for everyone else. I turned and nodded to him. He smiled back and returned his focus to the lecture, which I tuned out with my own thoughts.

If I had thought that class was bad, lunch was ten times worse.

"Stupid asshole," Bebe said as Kevin walked by. I watched him look around nervously as if he was in mortal danger. "I'm sure his party wasn't even that good." Even Wendy sighed at that statement. Bebe had refused to give up on the topic. She normally wasn't self centered and arrogant; in fact she was just the opposite. On a normal day Bebe could be found helping out anyone who needed it, staying after for extra help to keep up her studies, or even kicking an older kid for tripping a kindergartner. However, we had not had normal days. Ever since I hit Cartman, the days have been anything but normal. Bebe had simply lost her mind when she didn't get invited to Kevin's party.

"Bebe, just try and..." Anne started but quickly stopped herself as Bebe glared angrily. Anne looked down ashamed.

"Bebe, I agree with Anne," I said as Anne quickly looked at me. Her eyes showed fear. We had made a pact in the third grade. All for one and one for all. If one person was pissed off we'd support them and help them out. It looked like I was about to break the pact.

"What are you talking about, you don't care because you got invited!" She said thrusting a finger at me. Wendy tried to pull her back.

"Calm down Bebe," she said. I shook my head.

"I don't care about some stupid party, and you shouldn't either!" I said as sat up straight. She shoved her body upright.

"I'm just upset! You don't even care! I feel like I don't even matter anymore and here you are shouting at me!" She said holding back tears.

"I'm not yelling, I'm just saying you should move on," I said as she shook her head.

"You just think you're high and mighty because you punched out Cartman!" I stumbled a little on my words.

"Wh- what's that even got to do with anything?" I asked in confusion.

"The only reason anyone likes you is because of that! That's why you're getting invited where I'm not... It's not that I don't matter, you've just moved up!" She shouted as all the girls gasped.

"Bebe, what are you saying!" Millie cried out in shock.

"Bebe? What are you talking about, she's right, Heidi's the reason we didn't get invited either!" Anne said giving me a dirty look. Suddenly all the girls were screaming at each other. I didn't know what to do. First off I was shocked at what Anne had just said, secondly I was even more shocked as Millie punched Anne right in the jaw. The next thing I knew we were in a seven way fight.

I had no idea what was going on, all I knew was to hit who ever came at me. I felt my nose start bleeding as Bebe punched me in the face. Wendy tackled her as Red got right in on it. "BREAK IT UP!" I spun around holding Anne by the collar to see Principal Victoria pushing past the guys in our class who had managed to form a circle around us. "MY OFFICE NOW!" She commanded as I let go of Anne and followed her out of the cafeteria.

None of us spoke. We all walked gloomily and hurt as she lined us up in her office. She adjusted her glasses. "Now, I'm not sure what's going on, but first off, you girls need medical attention. Look at you! You're wrecks!" She said angrily as a knock came to the door. Nurse Gollum walked in as we all cringed. She inspected each and every one of us. When my turn came I felt on the verge of tears as I stared at the... thing on her face.

"They seem okay, nothing broken," she reported before she left. As soon as the door was closed, we all shook in disgust. Principal Victoria gave us another look.

"Since you girls got in such a bad fight, I'm sentencing you all to detention tomorrow! Three hours!" My jaw dropped. We all groaned as she sent us outside. The bell had rung and against our wills, it was time for class.

We gave each other a final look and a hmmph! before we each went our separate ways leaving the hallway desolate, just as I felt.


	14. Hitting the ground

**Ok, let me first start off saying... I'm sooooooo super sorry for the long waited update! Everything has been so stressful altely with school and drama. Thank you for reading by teh way and I'll try and update more. I mean I have the whole story finished, I'm just incredibly lazy and busy with school. So I'll try and update more to keep you all happy. :D So now, please enjoy, one of the most intense chapters...**

* * *

As I walked home that day I reflected on everything. I was basically alone. I had lost Craig and all my girl friends. The only people left were the people who adored me, and Kenny. I sighed as a raindrop hit my nose. Great.

By the time I got home, my new green jacket was ruined and my hair was frizzy. I threw my backpack full force at the basement door. It made a loud noise as it impacted the blue entrance. I trudged up the stairs and threw myself on my bed as I always did. _Monday's done, three days until happiness. You can do it. _I told myself. My mind rejected the idea. I felt like I would die at any minute.

I didn't die though. I lived through Monday night. It was quiet, since no one felt like calling me. I had almost broken down when Red Racer appeared on my television. I quickly shut it and decided to do my homework. Ten minutes later I forced myself to sleep, hoping Tuesday would be better.

I was very wrong about that though. Tuesday wasn't better at all. Cartman had decided it was time to get his revenge, on me specifically. I walked into school horrified to see a giant picture of me strangling Anne. I turned around quickly to find myself facing another picture of me. This one was of me from when Paris Hilton was in town. I was dressed like a tramp. Millie was standing next to me; we had two boys pushed into lockers, and were about to kiss them against their wills. I covered my eyes quickly. However, when I opened them I found the worst thing of all.

As if it wasn't bad enough making me look like a slut and a bitch fighter, Cartman had decided to make me look like a downright horrible human being. Staring back at me was a TV which was playing a video from Kevin's party.

"Two minutes in the closet?" Craig asked looking angry.

"Why are you so mad all of a sudden? You got all upset when I said we couldn't go to the movies, you were pissed off when I said I was going to the party with Kenny, and you even talked down about him, what gives?" I asked pissed off. He looked a little stunned.

"I just don't-"

"Want me to get hurt I know!" I yelled. "Look, I know you care but I can figure things out for myself. You're a great friend Craig, but I think I can handle my life." I left the view of the camera. Craig stood there alone until he finally pulled up a chair in the kitchen and put his face in his hands.

I wanted to run out of the school crying. I didn't know what to do. I felt someone punch me hard in the back as I turned to see Clyde. "Bitch," he said obviously noting the video playing.

_It was just a little fight, Cartman just made it look worse! _I wanted to shout out. Clyde rounded the corner before I could say anything. I felt my face grow red as I heard my name. Every one was talking about me again, but it wasn't how I wanted it. I felt a hand touch my shoulder as I spun around to see Kenny. He gave me a look I couldn't read. My eyes started tearing as he pulled me into a small hug. "Don't worry," he said before releasing me and walking to class. I stood alone in the hallway as the video played over and over, making my ears want to bleed. Suddenly someone kicked me in the back of the knees.

I toppled over to look up at Cartman, who had lost the neck brace, band aides, and cane. He spat at me and walked out of view. I grabbed my knees and stared to cry as the bell rang. I didn't move. I couldn't move.

"...I think I can handle my life"

God was I wrong.


	15. Uninterupted Bliss

**Once again I am soooooooooo sorry it's so late!!! My life has been hectic lately and I ahven't been on Fanfic in a while. Give me reason to post more by reviewing or even drawing fanart! D Anyway enjoy this chapter - Daniella**

* * *

I barely made it out alive on Tuesday. The only people who hadn't ditched me completely were Kenny, Kyle, Stan, Token, and Millie (who still barely even talked to me after the fight). I wasn't exactly sure why Token still thought I was okay, but I was 100 sure why Stan and Kyle stayed. In Kyle's eyes I was a hero. Nothing I could do would ever be as bad as anything Cartman did. Taking him down was something that made me immortal. Stan stayed simply because he didn't feel like ditching Kyle and Kenny.

I hoped to myself that Kenny stayed because he truly loved me. There wasn't anything that said against it so I bought into it.

The detention was horrible. All seven of us sat as far away from each other as we could. I could feel a glare coming from every direction. Occasionally Mrs. Garrison would look up from her magazine and check the clock, but that was the only movement that occurred. The rest of the three hours was filled with silence and death glares. Once again I felt like dieing.

But finally Wednesday had come and I didn't forget my study date with Kenny. I was overjoyed. It was decided that he'd come over after school and we could study what ever notes we took. The only thing that sucked was that Mrs. Garrison hadn't told us what would be on the test and what subject we should study. All she said was, "If you paid attention to the following lectures you should be fine: Movies in the '80's, Ten reasons that God could actually be a woman, The Facts of Life: TV Show and Life Lessons, Why Pimps don't work well outside the city, and the Industrial Revolution." We didn't even learn anything about the Industrial Revolution!

I felt my heart start pounding as the last bell rang and we were set free. "Study hard kids, this test won't be easy!" Mrs. Garrison called as we sprinted from her room. I met up with Kenny outside the school.

"You have any good notes? " I asked. Thankfully he nodded.

"Except I don't have any on the Industrial Revolution, did we even learn that?" He questioned. I shrugged.

"The one thing we probably should learn about, we don't," I said as we started off towards my house. The sun shone brightly as I felt my spirits lift. I was going to have a better day I was sure of it. We reached my house as I threw my coat on the couch.

"Where should we study?" He asked looking around. I thought for a second.

"I guess we could anywhere. My mom's at work and my dad shouldn't be home for a while, so you don't have to worry about him. Let's go into the kitchen," I said leading the way. He followed, looking around. I pulled up a chair and opened my binder. I flipped through a few pages, pulling out the ones we apparently needed. Kenny pulled up a chair next to me and opened his notebook too.

Suddenly his face grew a light shade of pink and he slammed the book shut. "Umm... I think I brought the wrong book... yeah my one with the notes is in school..." He looked nervous as he stuck the notebook back in his bag.

"Well... That's okay I guess," I said slowly keeping my eyes on his bag. "If your notes are in school, what's in that notebook?" I questioned trying to figure it out. He paused for a second as if trying for an answer.

"Well, it's notes too... but they're from the beginning of the year, so we don't need them," he said covering for himself. I nodded and decided to search the notebook later.

"I have some notes," I said pulling out papers. "Here's from The Facts of Life lesson," I said looking them over. He pulled his chair closer to mine to get a better look. My heart started pounding as his chair came closer and closer.

"I'm not sure how we really study this stuff," he said taking the sheets from my hand. "I guess we could look up the Industrial Revolution on your computer," he said.

"I have one up in my room, follow me," I said hurrying up the stairs. I heard him follow as I made my way to my computer, and turned it on. He stepped into my room and sat with me on my only chair. I felt my heart start pounding again.

"Okay, Industrial Revolution," he typed leaning over me. I was almost sure he could hear my heart by this point because I heard it loud and clear. I put my hand on the mouse to click send, but he did the same thing ending up with his hand on mine. I smiled a little.

"Sorry," I said.

"It's okay," he replied leaving his hand on mine. We did the entire search like that, although I could hardly pay attention to what was on the computer screen.

When we were finally done I asked, "Is that all we needed?" he looked up at me.

"Pretty much." His fingers slowly filled the spaces in mine, and the next thing I knew he was staring into my eyes. I looked down for a second. "You okay?" He asked. I nodded and looked back up. His eyes were so gorgeous, I found myself staring into them too. He leaned into me and I leaned into him too and for the first time we weren't interrupted.


	16. No Help

**Ahhh! Again sorry for the delay, enjoy though and reviews are much appriciated :D**

* * *

"Hold on one second," I said pulling away. I listened carefully, it sounded like someone was walking towards my house. I hoped on my bed and looked out my window. He did the same. I watched as someone I couldn't identify walked past my house. I peered through the branches of the overgrown tree trying to figure out who it was. Finally my eyes caught a kid slowly walking by, in a blue aviator hat. I watched as he turned and strolled away as if he was just looking around, rather than looking for me.

As soon as Craig was out of view, Kenny moved himself closer to me. My mind wasn't where his was though. Why hadn't Craig stopped? Did he really want nothing to do with me? I felt Kenny pull me closer to him, but I couldn't say anything. I wanted to open the window and call out to him, but he was gone, and my voice wouldn't reach him.

Kenny stopped for a second and pulled down his hood. "Are you okay?" I looked at him.

"I don't know," I said before leaning into him and resting my head on his shoulder. He felt like the only person in the world who mattered to me. His hand grabbed mine and he pulled me closer to him. I found myself looking into his eyes yet again, and it felt good. Our lips locked, as my pain went numb. Nothing mattered except for us.

I had asked Kenny to stop as soon as reality set in. We were lying on my bed. Our coats were thrown to the floor, and I was pretty sure that if we didn't stop, other thing would have joined the coats. He gave me a pleading look as he leaned over me. I stood up quickly. "So about this test," I said a little out of breath.

"Yeah," he said grabbing his coat. I took the pages we printed on the Industrial Revolution and headed downstairs. He lagged behind a little so I decided to find out what was in the mysterious notebook. I pulled out the blue spiral and opened it to find millions of sketches; I guessed that he drew during class. Most of them were of him and girls or just girls by themselves. I skipped through the pages quickly, a little shocked. One picture even looked like some sort of threesome. I quickly shut it and threw the notebook back into his bag as he entered the kitchen. "Okay, let's study," he said opening my binder.

My eyes kept looking at his backpack, which I now knew what it contained. "Yeah sure," I said looking back at him. My heart was pounding again, except for a different reason this time.

We managed to study for two hours without me saying anything about the notebook. I felt the words on the tip of my tongue but I didn't say anything, terrified that if I questioned him, he'd give me an answer I didn't want to hear. "My mom's coming home soon," I said standing up. "You might want to go." He nodded understandingly as I walked him to the door.

"Good luck on the test, I'll see you in school tomorrow," I said opening the door.

"Wait, I've got a question for you." My heart literally stopped, as I backed up half a step. I almost wanted him to go home.

"Will you be my Valentine tomorrow?" I paused for a second unsure what to say. On one hand he was sweet and adorable but on the other... he was exactly what Craig had said.

"Sure," I said. He smiled and walked outside with a certain bounce in his step. I shut the door and sat down with my back leaning against it. Craig had been right. My mind flashed the sketches back at me as I felt myself shudder. I really liked Kenny, but I didn't want anything like that! I saw the look he gave me when I pulled away upstairs. He looked like stopping would have killed him. I took a deep breath and started to cry. I had yelled at Craig and sent him off when all he wanted to do was help me. Now I was all alone, and my help was no where to be found.


	17. Helping others, not myself

**My God, you all must hate me X Hahaha I'm sorry updates ahve been so far apart, but trust me the story is almost finished, and Brittany and I have evenstarted up another one with help from a devoted member of South Pakism. Haha don't worry that one will be updated much more frequently. But anyway back to this amazing story heres chapter 17 and please enjoy... Also, review! It makes me happy and shows me people are actually likeing what I debate about posting. Reviews happiness new stories eventually goodness. Anyway, here we go...**

* * *

My head was pounding. I sat still with my back to the door wondering who was really with me. I wasn't sure if I could trust Kenny. The only other people that left me with were Kyle, Token, and Stan. Three people who had barely talked to me before I hit Cartman were the only people I had left. I got up and walked to my room. It was dark. I flipped on my light switch to find myself staring at someone I wasn't sure I knew. She had light brown hair, a green jacket, and a soft looking face. I touched my reflection in the mirror and realized I had lost myself. I had become someone different, someone I didn't know.

I had become someone I never thought I would. I had fought with my friends, yelled at Craig, dated someone who I wasn't sure even loved me. I wasn't the same Heidi I was a month ago. I was someone different. Someone I wasn't sure I liked.

I walked to school alone the next day. I couldn't stand taking a bus filled with people who hated me. The air was cold and the ground was icy. The day started off even worse when I reached the school, and found out the heating system had busted overnight. Calling he school freezing was an understatement. Mrs. Garrison even came in wearing two coats and ski pants. "Okay students, I hope you studied," she said handing out packets. "You may begin when I hand you your test."

I opened mine to find there were fifteen questions to a page and at least thirty pages. The whole class let out a groan in unison as we began.

Question One:

In the Breakfast Club, Claire Standish is given which label?

A: The Athlete

B: The Brain

C: The Princess

D: The Basketcase

E: The Criminal

I sighed as I circled C and continued. The questions had nothing to do with what was normally taught in school and were completely random in order. Question two was about the Industrial Revolution, which I had only learned about yesterday.  
Three hours later the lunch bell rang. Most of the class was about half way through the test. "Alright, you can go to lunch. You can finish the rest of the test after," Mrs. Garrison said releasing us from the room. Kenny quickly caught up with me. I took a deep breath.

"Hey Valentine," he said holding my hand.

"Oh, hey," I said as we walked to lunch together. We sat down with Kyle and Stan. Cartman was no where to be found, and I was very grateful.

"Dude, what was with that test?" Stan asked.

"I know! Is it really beneficial to know why pimps only work in the city?" Kyle agreed taking a bite of his lunch. I stayed quiet until Kyle realized I hadn't spoken a word. "Heidi, are you okay?" He asked concerned. I nodded.

"I'm fine." he looked at me for a second.

"Come with me for a second," he said getting up. I followed him into the hallway, a little confused. "Really, what's wrong?" He asked looking serious. I sighed.

"Everything's gone downhill for me," I said looking at the floor.

"How so?" he questioned.

"I've lost all my friends, Craig won't talk to me, everyone's mad at me because of that stupid thing Cartman had to pull, and I don't even know if Kenny wants me for me, or for... ME." He looked thoughtful for a minute.

"Look, I'm sure that no ones really 'mad' at you, it will blow over. And as for Kenny, why don't you just talk to him?"

"I don't know. You're good friends with him... does he only want... 'one thing' from a girl?" I asked uneasily. Kyle gave me a sympathetic look.

"Heidi, I can't say no to that, I really wish I could but I can't. Maybe he really likes you, I don't know, but I can't rule out what you said." I nodded a little. "Let's go back to lunch, I'm sure you'll feel better at the party later," he said walking me back. My mind jolted a little as I remembered I was supposed to carpool with the girls. I guess I was walking, that is if Jason even wanted me there.

We got back in time to finish eating before the lunch bell rang again. I walked back to the classroom with Kenny, thinking about what Kyle had said. I was upset, but I knew I would have to end it with Kenny, even if it left me more alone than I was.

I finished the test relatively early and waited patiently for school to end. The clock's hands made their way around the circle until finally the day was over. As I was walking out of the room, Jason approached me. "You still coming to my party?" He asked quietly. I couldn't tell if he wanted me there or not.

"I guess if I'm still invited." He looked over at Craig and half nodded. Craig had caught up with him. He gave me half an upset glance before walking away with Jason. I stood alone as everyone left.

"Walking home?" Stan asked as I nodded. "I guess I can go with you, your house is on the way to mine." I smiled at the small act of kindness. We started off.

"So how do you think you did on the test?" I asked casually. He shrugged.

"I have no idea, but I'm getting sick of these pointless lessons." I nodded.

"Are you... going to Jason's later?" I asked fixing my bright red shirt. He nodded.

"Sucks I don't have a date though..." He started. He paused. "Do you know... if Wendy's going?" He asked quietly. I nodded. "Does she... have a date?"

"I'm not sure..." I said realizing that Stan was still in love with Wendy, and Craig had been right again. I sighed at the same time he did. "If you want, I can talk to her or something, I don't think she completely hates me," I said pushing aside the fact Craig was right. Stan's face lit up.

"You will! Thank you Heidi!" He said pulling me in a hug. We reached my house and said our goodbyes. I trudged up the stairs to my phone and dialed Wendy's number nervously.

"Hello?" Wendy answered.

"It's Heidi- don't hang up!" I said quickly. "Listen, are you going to Jason's tonight?"

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"Do you have a date? Not that I want to know but I know someone who does."

"Who?"

"Do you have a date?"

"Not yet."

"Would you go with Stan?" There was a pause.

"Maybe... I don't know. He didn't ask me," she said calmly.

"Well, he might." I said. There was another pause. "I'll see you later," I said before hanging up. I quickly called Stan and told him to ask Wendy. He sounded excited when he hung up the phone. I however felt and sounded upset. I sat alone and wondered what else Craig had been right about. The only other thing I could think of was what he said about Token, but I wasn't sure if he was right about him. My eyes caught the picture of Craig and me again, and I realized I had to get him back.


	18. Lost without a map

**Ok, this chapters kind of short but it's good. :D I'll update sooner on this (I think I updated pretty quick this time) since it is suspenceful. Well... enjoy! And review! Because reviews make the world go round and they make me update quicker. :)**

* * *

I threw on a red dress that hit just above my knees and ran out of my house. The wind almost froze me but I managed to run through the cold all the way to Jason's. I knocked on the door freezing my ass off. "Oh hi," he said letting me inside. The house was decorated in red and pink hearts and everyone was sitting in groups of two, except for a few people. I watched as Token put his arm around Ester. She looked happy as he opened a small box and gave her a diamond necklace. I felt my jaw drop. They hadn't even been going out! I realized that Craig was right again. His money was his way to a girl's heart which clearly showed his lack of values.

I looked around and never felt more out of place in my life. The house was filled with people who had lost respect for me, were fighting with me, or just didn't care if I left their lives. I felt like leaving, just turning around and going back into the freezing air. I turned around to see Kenny walking in the door. I gasped to myself, and ran in the other direction. I wasn't sure what I'd say to him, but I knew I had to end it before I did things I didn't want to. He must have seen me because he followed me into the kitchen. "Is something wrong, you were quiet all day and when I waited to walk you home you had already left?" He said holding my hands as I paused.

"Well," I started. "You see I'm not sure if... if... we should... maybe... we should just... be friends?" I managed trying to choose my words carefully. He looked a little shocked. "The thing is, I'm not sure if I'm ready... you know READY," I said trying to explain myself.

"Oh," he said softly, unaware of what else to say. I sighed.

"Also... I saw your notebook," I said as his face turned bright red in embarrassment.

"You did?" I nodded a little feeling miserable.

"I was just curious, and well," I said letting go of his hands. "I'm sorry," I whispered as tears welded in my eyes. I felt horrible. His face was blank as he pulled me into a hug. His expression didn't change, he looked confused and hurt. We let go. He gave me a week smile and slowly walked away.

I pulled up a chair in Jason's kitchen, not wanting to do anything. My world had stopped spinning, and I didn't know what to do. I missed my friends and Craig and just everything. Just as quickly as I had gained it all, I lost it all. I put my face in my hands. Stupid Cartman, if I ever hated the kid it wasn't nearly as much as I hated him now. Someone pulled up a chair next to me. I lifted my face to see Craig sitting with his face in his hands staring at a wall.

He didn't look at me and I felt weird looking at him. I took a deep breath.

"You were right," I said meekly as he looked at me.

"What?" he questioned not wanting to talk to me.

"You were right about everything, Stan, Token, Kenny, my situation, everything." He didn't smile, he just sat still. I felt like crying. "I'm sorry," I whispered feeling sick inside. There was a long pause. I couldn't tell what was going through his mind. He just sat and stared at me. I felt my eyes start to hold off tears as my head ached. I felt lost, lost without a map.


	19. No longer Blind to the World

**Ah! Haha updated this one a LOT quicker. :D See? Reviwes do really make updates come faster! Hahah Well, here's the second to last chapter. Enjoy, and as a side note this is probably my favorite chapter here. :)**

* * *

"I have to go," I said as tears formed in my eyes. I jumped out of the chair and raced towards the door. I reached for the doorknob but was stopped quickly as someone grabbed my hand. I turned to see Craig holding on to me. His eyes looked sorrowful.

"I'm sorry," he started. "I'm sorry for all the things I said. I'm sorry I tried to get you not to like any of those other guys, because the truth, the truth is none of them are good enough for you Heidi! You'll never see it but you're better than all of them! There will never be a guy good enough for you." I felt tears pouring down my face.

"Do you mean that?" I asked quickly. He nodded.

"I mean every word. Heidi, there's something else. The reason that I called you and told you that I would stop bothering you is because I thought it was what you wanted. I didn't want to stop you from living. I knew that you'd never find a guy as wonderful as you are, but I had to let you go and try. Heidi, you will never understand how difficult that was for me." He stopped for a second. "The whole thing was difficult for me, watching you go out there and be with Kenny, having him in your room, studying with him, considering two minutes in the closet, it was all difficult, and I don't think you know why." I shook my head. "Heidi, I love you!" He said before pulling me into him and kissing me.

I felt my eyes grow wide in shock, but slowly close as he pulled me closer to him. His hand grabbed mine and we stood together as time stopped. Every ounce of pain left me as we slowly separated and I saw the smile spread across his face. The party had died down once he started giving his speech and as soon as our kiss was over it was dead silent. We stood there for minutes as the party slowly started back up. "Craig," I started, but I didn't know how to finish my sentence. I wasn't sure exactly what I felt, all I could think was how could I have been so blind? He shuffled his foot a little as I let go of his hand. "How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you felt this way?"

"It started last July, when we went on that camping trip," he said as I thought back to the day. He did act differently during the trip, never wanting to leave my side. I nodded a little. He had lost his smile and grew a worried look. "Do you... not..."

"No! It's just... this is all happening fast I guess." I took his hand again. "I just need to... think. Can you walk me home?" He nodded as we left the party behind us.

The walk to my house was sadly awkward. I felt like he was hurt, but I didn't know what to do. Everything really was happening fast, but to be honest the kiss felt so right. We rounded the corner of Bonanza Street and passed Stan's house. It was awkwardly silent.

Finally after walking three blocks in silence we made it to my house. The air was cold on my arms. "Heidi, look if anything I said-,"

I put my hand up as he stopped talking. "Craig, nothing you said hurt me. I'm just a little surprised is all."

"So do you think... we have a...?" He started.

"Chance?"

"Yeah... that."

I thought for a second. He was a sweet guy and really cute. I knew almost everything about him. I racked my mind searching for even the slightest reason to say no, but I couldn't come up with anything. I knew that we were meant to be. Once again I felt extremely blind to the world.

I grabbed his collar and pulled him into a deep kiss. He embraced me as the kiss grew deeper. I felt my heart lift inside me and as we parted. My eyes dreamily caught his and I knew I had made the right decision. "I'll uhhh, see you tomorrow?" He asked talking a half step back. I nodded. "Bye Heidi," he said smiling and turning.

I grinned to myself as he flipped me off. "Bye Craig."


	20. The End

**Thank you all for sticking with the story (yeah, a couple of late updates made me afarid people lost fate in this story) and thank you so much to all the reviewers (they made me extra happy and towards the end seeing new faces reviweing made me super excited) for giving me good reviews. I hope you liked this story and please after you finish this chapter click review and just say how you felt about it, it'll give me ideas on what to add or take out from the next story (Britt's helping with that along with a special guest writer!) So once again thanks for reading and reviewing. Loyal fans and new fans enjoy the ending: D**

* * *

Dear Diary,

My God everything has changed. Well for the better anyway. Today I finally got my test back (Mrs. Garrison really needs to grade faster), I got a perfect score! Get this; it was the only one in the class! Wendy nearly had a heart attack when she saw her 99. All I could do was turn to her and say, "Don't worry Wendy, you'll get a 100 next time!"

Things with Craig are defiantly looking up. Not only have we been inseparable since Valentine's Day, we've almost been together for a month! On another bright side the whole Cartman revenge blew over. People are back to talking to me and no one really hates me besides Cartman. Who cares though, he's not worth my time.

Wendy actually wound up going back out with Stan. I'm not sure how long they'll last but I think he's going to take more consideration in their relationship this time. The last thing this town needs is Stan going goth again. Ick; that was a bad week for everyone.

There's not really a lot more to write about. Everything's looking up for once. I hope it stays this way. Even the girls are back together. Powder really got everyone to stop fighting. She really knows how to end arguments.

Oh! I have to go I hear Craig at the door. We're going out for our month together. I'll write more after the date, I'm sure they'll be plenty to write.

xoxo Heidi

I threw down my diary and ran to the door. "Hey," he said as I opened the entry. I smiled and kissed him.

"Hey yourself."

"Ready?" I nodded and grabbed my jacket.

"Bye mom, be back later!" I shouted as I slammed the door behind me. He grabbed my hand as we started off. I sighed deeply.

"Is anything wrong," he asked. I kissed him again and smiled.

"No, everything's perfect."


End file.
